1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:31,500 (DOORBELL RINGS) 4 00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:37,167 Hi, mate. Is Barbara in? 5 00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,500 Sorry, mate. Never heard of her. 6 00:00:38,633 --> 00:00:40,900 Barbara Finn before she got married. 7 00:00:41,033 --> 00:00:42,500 Nah, sorry. 8 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,800 (RINGS DOORBELL) 9 00:01:00,133 --> 00:01:03,733 Barbara Phillips. No, Phillips. 10 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,733 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) 11 00:01:22,967 --> 00:01:24,567 WOMAN: Yeah? 12 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,833 Hi. I'm trying to get some old friends together for my mum's 60th. 13 00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:29,867 I'm looking for a Barbara Warburton. 14 00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:32,100 She was Barbara Finn before she got married. 15 00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,267 -What did you say your mum's name was again? -Ethel. 16 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,400 Ethel Broughton. I'm Joe, I'm her son. 17 00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:40,333 -You're not Barbara Warburton by any chance? -No. 18 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,367 The Warburtons moved away years ago. 19 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,867 -Have you any idea where? -No, sorry, love. 20 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:46,800 It was years ago. Sorry! 21 00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,500 Right, thanks. 22 00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:54,900 Sorry to bother you. Have I got the right address for Barbara Warburton? 23 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:59,667 No, son. You want Number 10. That house on the corner. 24 00:02:09,767 --> 00:02:11,900 I just wanna talk to you. 25 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,567 I'm your son. 26 00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:18,467 Don't you think you owe me a conversation? 27 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,467 Why are you doing this to me? 28 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,100 You've got a grandchild, you know. 29 00:03:01,633 --> 00:03:03,533 -Hello. -Hello. 30 00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,733 Who's the weight watcher with Cath's mum and dad? 31 00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:18,867 I don't know. 32 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,800 One of Cath's mates. 33 00:03:21,867 --> 00:03:24,467 Make sure you get to the buffet before she does. 34 00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:26,433 Eddie! 35 00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:33,633 Fucking hell, Eddie! Show some respect. 36 00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:36,467 Oh, right. Sorry. 37 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:38,733 Hiya. 38 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,067 JOE: Hiya. All right? 39 00:03:42,633 --> 00:03:45,300 My little sweetheart! 40 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:48,867 Jim. Hi, Billy boy. All right? 41 00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:53,767 You decided against Granny's christening robe, did you? 42 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,133 Hi, Mum. 43 00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:57,533 That's the modern way, isn't it? An everyday dress. 44 00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,567 -All right, boys? -All right. 45 00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:14,500 Baptism celebrates your hopes and prayers for your child's life. 46 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:17,867 You're committing yourselves to bring up this child in the Christian faith. 47 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:21,800 And to guide her in the ways and teachings of Jesus Christ. 48 00:04:21,933 --> 00:04:24,933 Could the godparents step forward, please? 49 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,233 Marie will depend on you for the help and encouragement she needs. 50 00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,367 -(DOOR OPENS) -You must be willing to give it to her 51 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,667 by your prayers and by your example. 52 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,333 Do you renounce the devil? 53 00:04:35,467 --> 00:04:37,333 BOTH: I renounce the devil. 54 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:41,967 I name this child Marie Aretha Broughton. 55 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:47,100 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 56 00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:50,300 There we are now. 57 00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:53,300 We welcome Marie to the Christian community. 58 00:04:53,433 --> 00:04:56,633 So the girl says, "Will you do me a favour? Will you fuck me?" 59 00:04:56,767 --> 00:04:58,500 (CHUCKLES) And the fella says, 60 00:04:58,633 --> 00:05:00,567 "How can I? You've got no hands or legs." 61 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,133 And she says, "No, that's all right. Just hang me from that tree by my anorak hood." 62 00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:06,100 So, they do the business 63 00:05:06,233 --> 00:05:07,467 and he takes her home. 64 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,067 And the girl's dad's waiting up for her. 65 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,333 And the dad says, "Thanks a lot son. You're a real gent." 66 00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:14,767 And the bloke says, "I'm sorry. I'm not. 67 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,567 "I'm ashamed of myself. 68 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,300 "I fucked your daughter. I'm no gent." 69 00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:21,433 And her dad says, "No, take it from me you are. 70 00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:23,733 "Most blokes leave her up on the tree." 71 00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,533 That's disgusting, that is. 72 00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:28,767 Hasn't got any more disgusting since you told it to me. 73 00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:29,933 (DOORBELL RINGS) 74 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,833 EDDIE: A corker, innit? 75 00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:41,767 -Hi, mate. Made it, then. -Oh, aye. 76 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,933 Hi, love. 77 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,867 Every bloody time I miss that turn-off for the M60. 78 00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:49,300 Went to Asda the other week. Ended up at the Lake District! 79 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:52,300 They're all in the front room. 80 00:05:52,433 --> 00:05:56,767 -Hiya! Are you all right? Good to see you. -Yeah. 81 00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:59,067 -Thanks very much. -Go and get a drink. 82 00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:02,167 Did you ever see a vegetarian you wanted to jump? 83 00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:05,600 Isn't she gorgeous? 84 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:10,867 What are you doing on your own, Phil? You know everybody, don't you? 85 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:12,533 Yeah. 86 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:18,767 We were just saying, Joe. She's the image of our Bill, isn't she. 87 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,200 She sleeps with her mouth open and drinks a lot! 88 00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:23,167 Joe, behave yourself. 89 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,933 Steady. I'm a dad now, Mum. 90 00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:28,733 That doesn't mean you're too big to get a clip round the ear hole! 91 00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:31,300 Feel that grip. Hey, she's got butcher's hands. 92 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,067 Oh, Bill. What a thing to say about a little girl! 93 00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:36,067 It's the 21st century. 94 00:06:36,167 --> 00:06:38,667 Aye, there's a pair of lesbian plumbers in Chorlton. 95 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,300 There would be in Chorlton! 96 00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:42,767 Here you are, Mum. Get used to it. 97 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,167 -Ah... -That's it, Ethel, support the head. 98 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,200 You look like a cat holding a fiddle. 99 00:06:49,933 --> 00:06:51,767 Excuse me. 100 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,433 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 101 00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:55,867 (MARIE CRIES) 102 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:59,167 CATH: Come on, madam, I think you need a change. 103 00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:03,400 He's 12 now, my eldest. 104 00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:06,067 I think that's why Joe picked me to be godfather. 105 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:09,267 'Cause I know what it's all about like, being a dad and that. 106 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,067 So is he here then? Your lad? 107 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,600 Oh, no, I don't see him. 108 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,800 My first wife poisoned him against me. 109 00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:17,367 -Boot! -(CHUCKLES) 110 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:18,700 Lovely spread. 111 00:07:18,833 --> 00:07:21,800 We're all fond of a lovely spread, Mrs B. 112 00:07:27,867 --> 00:07:30,467 -Any pots out here? -No. 113 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,867 -Do you want another hold? -Oh, well, if you... 114 00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:34,667 Whatever's easiest. 115 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,167 Here. Take her. 116 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,067 There we are. 117 00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,800 There we are. 118 00:07:41,933 --> 00:07:43,467 There you are. You haven't lost it. 119 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,733 Well, I held you at this age. 120 00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,433 You'd never think it to hear that lot. 121 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,100 I know. Take no notice. 122 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,533 Do you ever think... 123 00:07:52,667 --> 00:07:57,267 Well, does it ever cross your mind that she might look like someone we've never met? 124 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,333 Funny thing to bring up, today of all days. 125 00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:03,167 Oh, but it does make you wonder. 126 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:07,633 They gave you to us and you were ours as far as me and your dad were concerned. 127 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:09,067 (GURGLING) 128 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,067 You were my little lad. 129 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,900 I still am your little lad. 130 00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:17,600 You know what, Joe? 131 00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:21,900 This might sound daft, but I think she looks a lot like Dad. 132 00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:25,067 Look, round the eyes. Are you getting it? 133 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:27,333 Yeah, I've always seen it. 134 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,433 It doesn't sound daft at all. 135 00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:34,933 EDDIE: Mind your legs. 136 00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,067 God, how does Eddie do it? 137 00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,400 It's not as though he's Tom Cruise or anything! 138 00:08:41,533 --> 00:08:42,967 Judith's no oil painting. 139 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:46,400 No, but pulling at a christening. That takes some front. 140 00:08:46,533 --> 00:08:48,600 It's up to them, innit? Free agents. 141 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,667 -You all right? -Yeah. 142 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:57,800 No. What is it? I know there's something. 143 00:09:01,433 --> 00:09:02,700 I think I've found me mum. 144 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,667 My birth mum. 145 00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,400 You've found her? 146 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:11,900 Are you sure? 147 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,700 I checked all the Barbara Finns on the list. And this woman, well... 148 00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:21,933 She must have known it was me 'cause she pretended she wasn't there. 149 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:24,400 She didn't want to know me. 150 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,667 -Joe, that's terrible. When did you find this out? -Last week. 151 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,067 I tracked her down to Morecambe. 152 00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:35,433 You went to Morecambe? 153 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:39,867 Right. 154 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,633 What's she like, then? 155 00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:46,933 She's a nurse. That's all I know. 156 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:49,700 Why didn't you tell me you found her? 157 00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:52,167 I wanted it to be a surprise. 158 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,667 I did this thing. 159 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,400 I know it was stupid. I left her an invitation for the christening. 160 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,267 What? 161 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,167 Well, you didn't really expect her to come, did you? 162 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,167 I mean she was hardly gonna walk into a room full of strangers, was she? 163 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:09,767 (GLASSES CLINK) 164 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,200 * She wears denim wherever she goes 165 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:23,500 * Says she's gonna buy some records by the Status Quo 166 00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:26,367 * Oh, yeah, chugga-chugga 167 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,100 * Chugga-chugga 168 00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:30,867 * Says she won't be forced 169 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,600 * Against her will 170 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:37,333 * Says she won't do drugs but she does the pill 171 00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:38,633 * Oh, yeah... * 172 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:44,933 -She gone off? -She's in full surrender. 173 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,833 You're brilliant, you know? 174 00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,033 Is that right? 175 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:02,067 She loves her dad. 176 00:11:04,367 --> 00:11:07,500 She likes me nodding my head and going "Chugga, chugga". 177 00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,500 It's not the same as love, is it? 178 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,567 It's weird, isn't it? 179 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,067 -What? -Well... 180 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,900 I'd kill anyone who hurt her, but what has she done to get that much love out of me? 181 00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,400 Just wriggled and cried and shat really. 182 00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:33,433 (CHUCKLES) 183 00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:37,933 She doesn't have to do anything. You love her because you're her dad. 184 00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:39,633 Do you think it's that simple? 185 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,200 Well, it is for you. 186 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,700 That's the main thing. 187 00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:50,667 I tell you something. She's a big girl, that Judith. 188 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,400 I bet she's flattened some grass in her time. 189 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:57,467 How often do you see your mum and dad, Eddie? 190 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,633 Once a year, whether I want to or not. 191 00:12:01,267 --> 00:12:04,200 I don't think I realised how big she was till I got her home. 192 00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:07,800 I could have shagged a dimple in her knee and been happy. 193 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:13,933 (SIGHS) 194 00:13:15,267 --> 00:13:17,467 I want to know everything. 195 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:20,900 About you, me, dad, everything. 196 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,133 I know this can't be easy for you. 197 00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:27,833 I realise it must have come as a bit of a shock. 198 00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:33,800 I've had a kid meself and I need to hear something. 199 00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,533 Anything. 200 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:39,500 Please. 201 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,900 Okay. 202 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,433 I'm not your mum. 203 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:51,500 But you are. 204 00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:54,067 No, I'm not. I'm not. 205 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,300 I've got a birth certificate. 206 00:13:55,433 --> 00:13:58,067 That's my name, but I'm not your mum. 207 00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,700 I was covering up the truth. 208 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:10,733 Your mum didn't know anything about you. 209 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,433 I was a nurse. 210 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:20,433 And it wasn't an ordinary hospital. 211 00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:22,867 It was a mental handicap hospital. 212 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,667 And your mum and dad were patients there. 213 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,200 And your mum was seven months' pregnant before anybody even noticed. 214 00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:37,067 And it was a scandal. 215 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,067 And it turned out her and another patient had been having sex. 216 00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:44,933 So she had a Caesarean under general anaesthetic, 217 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,433 and the baby was taken away 218 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,800 and she was none the wiser. 219 00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:52,567 And that baby was you. 220 00:14:55,867 --> 00:15:00,133 And we all thought it was for the best if no one ever knew, 221 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,067 especially the baby. 222 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,567 Especially you. 223 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:10,800 And they needed a woman to register the baby in her name, 224 00:15:10,933 --> 00:15:13,167 so it could be put up for adoption. 225 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,167 And then no one would ever find out. 226 00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:23,767 How do you mean, mental handicap? 227 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:27,267 They call it learning disability now, 228 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,400 but they all lived in hospitals back then. 229 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,500 Are you saying this to make me go away? 230 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:42,433 I can't be your mum. 231 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:44,700 I can't have children. 232 00:15:44,833 --> 00:15:49,200 Me and my husband tried and tried and I never had any children. 233 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:50,900 Well, good. 234 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,200 You don't fucking deserve to! 235 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,533 Can you tell us the way to SeaWorld, mate? 236 00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,133 Sorry, I'm not from here. 237 00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:56,133 -MRS LOWTHER: Hello, Joe. -Hiya. 238 00:16:56,267 --> 00:17:00,533 Mum reckons we should stop night feeds and let her cry. What do you reckon? 239 00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,367 It's up to you. I never hear her. 240 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,267 CATH: Oh, bugger! 241 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,533 Joe, there's another teat in the steriliser. Will you get it please, love? 242 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,533 Oh, give over. Give it here. 243 00:17:08,867 --> 00:17:10,467 Mum! 244 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,433 I brought four of you up and I don't see any of you keeling over. 245 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,400 CATH: (SIGHS) I give up. 246 00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:16,933 Is this formula, love? 247 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,567 You know I haven't got enough to keep her going any more. 248 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:21,633 You don't want to be breastfeeding at all by now. 249 00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,067 You'll never get your figure back. 250 00:17:29,733 --> 00:17:32,300 Do you want chicken or lasagne? 251 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:33,967 Not bothered. 252 00:17:36,733 --> 00:17:39,067 She means well, my mum, you know. 253 00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:43,200 I know she drives you mad, but she's a big help when you're working late. 254 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,067 Since your wife fucked off, 255 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:55,867 your sandwiches have taken a distinct turn for the worse. Sorry. 256 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,200 Try the pie. 257 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,133 I rang her up the other night, you know. 258 00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:04,500 He only answered, didn't he? Golden Bollocks! 259 00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,400 He was talking to you on your phone? 260 00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:07,967 Bald bastard! 261 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,967 Should have said, "I'm combing me hair" and hung up. 262 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:11,300 How would that have helped? 263 00:18:11,433 --> 00:18:13,400 'Cause he's a slapper, isn't he? 1-nil to you! 264 00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,200 It mightn't feel like it now, but in the long run 265 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:18,067 you're much better off with a full head of hair than a wife. 266 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,133 Five years from now, she'll have tits like her dad and he'll be wearing a wig. 267 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,967 JOE: I've been thinking about tracing my mum and dad. 268 00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,500 You know, me birth parents. 269 00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:30,900 -What do you think? -Sounds a bit deep for me, Joe. 270 00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,433 I'm a joiner, not Eric Cantona. 271 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:37,633 I mean, would it matter to you where I was from, what they were like? 272 00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:40,333 It'd matter if they were millionaires. 273 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,067 -Where did you get this, Phil? -Why would it matter? 274 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,300 You're a grown man. 275 00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:47,467 I might find out something bad or wrong. 276 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,067 Have you found something out or what? 277 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,400 No. 278 00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:54,067 What does your Cath think about it? 279 00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,600 I know this pork pie. 280 00:19:00,733 --> 00:19:02,833 Are you trying to trace the pig's parents now? 281 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:06,433 There's something you wanna tell me about this pork pie, Phil? 282 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:08,167 You had loads left over. 283 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:11,133 You didn't go nicking food from baby Marie's christening, did ya? 284 00:19:11,267 --> 00:19:13,967 Why didn't you have a piss in the font while you were at it? 285 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,533 The thing is, Joe... 286 00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:19,900 You're you, aren't you? 287 00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:23,067 You're you and... 288 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,867 That's all there is to it. 289 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,933 (MARIE CRYING) 290 00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,067 Shh! 291 00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,900 Go back to bed, love. There's no point in us both being up. 292 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:03,200 -Is she hungry? -She feels a bit warm, poor thing. 293 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:06,500 Warm? She's red hot. 294 00:20:06,633 --> 00:20:08,200 And she's covered in spots. 295 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,067 It'll just be a heat rash. 296 00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,733 -It's not meningitis. -You're not a doctor! 297 00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:19,633 (CONTINUES CRYING) 298 00:20:21,867 --> 00:20:23,400 Shh! 299 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,033 -Are they fading? -Yeah, they are. 300 00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:29,733 -Are they supposed to fade? -I can't remember. 301 00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,333 I just know this isn't meningitis. 302 00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:32,833 I'm taking her to the hospital. 303 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:34,200 There's something wrong. 304 00:20:52,433 --> 00:20:55,933 We think he's swallowed a fridge magnet. (SCOFFS) 305 00:20:56,067 --> 00:20:59,133 Should have a season ticket for down here. 306 00:20:59,267 --> 00:21:00,833 What about yours? 307 00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:03,633 Oh, she's got a rash. You can't be too careful, can you? 308 00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:06,900 (GRUNTING) 309 00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,600 Can you stop him from doing that, please? 310 00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:12,233 -Sorry? -Joe! 311 00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,100 Can you stop him from doing that, please? 312 00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:17,200 Ryan, come here, love. 313 00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:19,533 Let me see if I can find you a sweet. 314 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,767 (SOFTLY) She's getting upset. 315 00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:31,433 DOCTOR: It's probably a heat rash. Might be viral. 316 00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:35,733 Take her home, dose her up with Calpol and sponge her down every so often. 317 00:21:35,867 --> 00:21:39,500 And if she's still this hot after 24 hours, bring her back, okay? 318 00:21:39,633 --> 00:21:42,200 What I need to know is how long does it take to get brain damage? 319 00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:43,633 -Can you tell me that? -Joe! 320 00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:46,067 I think her temperature would have to be a lot higher. 321 00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:47,333 Yeah, but it could happen. 322 00:21:47,467 --> 00:21:49,200 Joe, she's all right. Marie's fine. 323 00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:52,767 Can you write your name down please? In case anything goes wrong. 324 00:21:55,333 --> 00:21:57,500 Come on. Let's just get her home. 325 00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:02,067 You've got nothing to worry about. 326 00:22:38,067 --> 00:22:39,800 What's got into you? 327 00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,133 Is it your mum? 328 00:22:44,867 --> 00:22:46,067 Sorry. 329 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:59,400 -I don't understand. -I'm not sure I do either. 330 00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:05,500 I mean, is she saying they were like mad or what? 331 00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:08,700 Not like mad, more, you know, handicapped. 332 00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,667 -Well, how handicapped? -Not that handicapped. 333 00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:16,900 I suppose, not if they could do the business. 334 00:23:17,067 --> 00:23:20,300 Well, they can't be that bad, can they? There's nothing wrong with you, is there? 335 00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:21,767 Thanks. 336 00:23:24,333 --> 00:23:26,667 Jesus Christ, Cath, I mean... 337 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:29,200 I just... (SIGHS) 338 00:23:32,567 --> 00:23:35,767 It's like your whole life you have this daydream. 339 00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,733 This idea of a... 340 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,833 You make them up, you know. 341 00:23:44,733 --> 00:23:47,933 You look at your face and try and picture them. 342 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:51,967 But this... 343 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,633 I'm gonna go and see them. 344 00:23:57,767 --> 00:23:59,767 I'll come with you. I'll ring Mum in the morning, get her to have Marie for the day. 345 00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:02,467 No, I'll be all right on me own. 346 00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:05,800 I'll be fine. 347 00:24:09,667 --> 00:24:11,467 How did you find him? 348 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,067 I phoned an old mate from the hospital and he knew the Social Services team. 349 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,833 I've had no luck with your mum yet. 350 00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:22,167 Okay. 351 00:24:23,533 --> 00:24:26,133 -It is what you wanted, isn't it? -Yeah. 352 00:24:26,267 --> 00:24:28,233 Yeah. Of course it is. 353 00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:30,667 I mean, you don't have to meet him today if you don't want to. 354 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,200 You know, I just thought I'd find him for you. 355 00:24:33,333 --> 00:24:34,833 I just thought... 356 00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:37,933 Well, I owed you that much. 357 00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:42,067 Yeah, right. 358 00:24:43,333 --> 00:24:46,433 Adoption was different you know 359 00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:48,100 and there was a lot of covering up. 360 00:24:48,233 --> 00:24:50,500 What's he been told about me? 361 00:24:50,633 --> 00:24:53,667 That you're thinking of becoming a volunteer. 362 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,200 I thought that was best for now. 363 00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:01,467 (CLEARS THROAT) 364 00:25:23,733 --> 00:25:25,433 So, how long has he lived here? 365 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:27,667 Harry? About 10 years now. 366 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,667 He came after they closed the hospital. 367 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,833 And what does he like to do? 368 00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:39,067 Oh, you know, play pool, darts, watch James Bond. 369 00:25:39,133 --> 00:25:40,900 All the lads' stuff. 370 00:25:45,433 --> 00:25:47,733 -See you later. -Right. 371 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,100 Yeah, he's in here. 372 00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:15,067 Hi, Harry. There's a young man here to see you. 373 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:18,333 -Hi, Harry. -Hiya. 374 00:26:18,467 --> 00:26:20,133 -All right? -Yeah. 375 00:26:20,267 --> 00:26:21,400 -I'm Joe. -Hiya. 376 00:26:21,533 --> 00:26:23,333 -Pleased to meet you. -Sit down if you want. 377 00:26:23,467 --> 00:26:25,467 -Do you not mind? -No. 378 00:26:35,067 --> 00:26:36,833 Did they tell you I was coming? 379 00:26:36,967 --> 00:26:38,067 No. 380 00:26:44,433 --> 00:26:46,067 What are you doing there, mate? 381 00:26:46,133 --> 00:26:47,833 A bit of writing. 382 00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:54,433 -What is it you're writing? -Me name. 383 00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:01,100 Oh, I see. 384 00:27:10,967 --> 00:27:13,433 -You've written that a lot of times, haven't you? -Yeah. 385 00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:19,967 It's nice, that, very good. 386 00:27:28,067 --> 00:27:29,433 So... 387 00:27:29,567 --> 00:27:31,900 -Do you like to read? -Yeah. 388 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:33,767 What do you read? 389 00:27:35,067 --> 00:27:36,067 Comics. 390 00:27:36,133 --> 00:27:37,700 Comics, right. 391 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,233 I like your house. 392 00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:50,967 -Do you? -Yeah. 393 00:27:51,567 --> 00:27:53,300 Very nice. 394 00:27:53,433 --> 00:27:56,100 -Everybody seems very nice here. -Yeah. 395 00:27:58,633 --> 00:28:00,633 How long have you been here? 396 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,667 I don't know. 397 00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:11,067 Do you remember when you were younger? 398 00:28:11,133 --> 00:28:12,333 No. 399 00:28:12,467 --> 00:28:14,800 -Don't remember anything? -No. 400 00:28:20,767 --> 00:28:21,933 How old are you? 401 00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:23,933 38. 402 00:28:27,267 --> 00:28:29,433 -How old? -38. 403 00:28:37,833 --> 00:28:40,067 -Fancy coming out with me one day? -No. 404 00:28:40,167 --> 00:28:42,200 -For a day trip or... -No. 405 00:28:44,633 --> 00:28:45,833 Why not? 406 00:28:48,133 --> 00:28:49,800 I don't want to. 407 00:28:52,533 --> 00:28:55,067 -Well, you don't really know me, do you? -No. 408 00:29:02,633 --> 00:29:04,467 Everything all right? 409 00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:06,300 Yeah. 410 00:29:06,433 --> 00:29:09,467 -You all right, Harry? -Yeah. 411 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,933 Why don't you show Joe some of your things? 412 00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:33,167 (SLAMS DOOR) 413 00:29:36,067 --> 00:29:37,600 (KEYS CLATTER) 414 00:29:43,067 --> 00:29:44,067 So? 415 00:29:45,067 --> 00:29:47,533 -What was he like? -Just a bloke, really. 416 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,633 Does he look like you? 417 00:29:53,767 --> 00:29:56,067 I don't know. I didn't notice. 418 00:29:58,633 --> 00:30:00,600 What did you both talk about? 419 00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:03,000 Well, you, know, world peace, relationships. 420 00:30:03,133 --> 00:30:05,433 Why he hadn't been in touch. 421 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,133 Oh, so he's... 422 00:30:08,267 --> 00:30:10,133 He's quite handicapped then, is he? 423 00:30:10,267 --> 00:30:11,700 What's that supposed to mean? 424 00:30:11,833 --> 00:30:14,167 I need to know, Joe. It isn't just about you. It's about all of us. 425 00:30:14,300 --> 00:30:16,167 Do I look like a fucking window licker to you? 426 00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:17,600 Joe, that's not what I'm not saying! 427 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:19,167 You think you might catch it now, is that it? 428 00:30:19,300 --> 00:30:20,367 Oh, very grown up! 429 00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:21,733 Or maybe that's all I can come up with, 430 00:30:21,867 --> 00:30:24,133 what with me being a fucking Manc! 431 00:30:47,433 --> 00:30:49,033 (WHISTLES) Joe! 432 00:30:49,167 --> 00:30:50,867 Come on. 433 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,067 There's a cold beer and a warm woman out there with my name on them. 434 00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,467 What? 435 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,800 We don't pay ourselves overtime, it's half 5:00. Come on. 436 00:30:56,933 --> 00:30:58,700 I'll catch you up. 437 00:30:58,833 --> 00:31:00,333 You all right? 438 00:31:00,467 --> 00:31:01,867 Just want to finish this. 439 00:31:02,067 --> 00:31:03,433 (DRILLING) 440 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:05,633 All right. 441 00:31:27,067 --> 00:31:28,633 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 442 00:32:01,567 --> 00:32:05,067 Can I give you a hug, a cuddle? 443 00:32:06,567 --> 00:32:08,200 -Pardon? -What's your name? 444 00:32:08,333 --> 00:32:10,200 -I'm called Maria. -My name's Joe. 445 00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,600 -Joe? -Yeah. 446 00:32:11,733 --> 00:32:13,300 -I'm called Maria. -Hiya, Maria. 447 00:32:13,433 --> 00:32:16,633 Can I have a hug? A cuddle? 448 00:32:17,433 --> 00:32:19,833 -A cuddle? -Yeah. 449 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:21,800 That's good. 450 00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:25,633 -Okay. -Have you seen a... 451 00:32:25,767 --> 00:32:27,433 Do you know a bloke called Harry? 452 00:32:27,567 --> 00:32:28,667 Yeah, I do. 453 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:30,167 Where is he, do you know, love? 454 00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:32,833 No, I don't, no. 455 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,700 MAN: Oh! WOMAN: Hiya! 456 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:43,833 Hiya. 457 00:32:44,533 --> 00:32:46,900 -Hi, Harry. -HARRY: Hiya. 458 00:32:47,067 --> 00:32:49,967 Good game going on here, mate. 459 00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:51,533 Two shots! 460 00:32:52,467 --> 00:32:55,067 There's one. There's one. 461 00:32:56,533 --> 00:32:58,067 -How've you been then? -All right. 462 00:32:58,133 --> 00:33:00,167 -All right? -Yeah. 463 00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:01,467 What have you been up to? 464 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,933 -I've been having a game of pool... -Right. 465 00:33:04,067 --> 00:33:05,633 With the lads. 466 00:33:09,467 --> 00:33:10,933 Missed! Two! 467 00:33:11,067 --> 00:33:14,133 -Was it a bit of a surprise when I turned up? -Yeah. 468 00:33:14,267 --> 00:33:16,200 Was it last week, yeah? 469 00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:19,267 -Did it shock you a bit? -Yeah. 470 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,200 I was a bit shocked. 471 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:24,767 You what? 472 00:33:24,900 --> 00:33:26,967 I was a bit shocked as well at it. 473 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:32,533 MAN: Go on, you've got one in. WOMAN: One in? 474 00:33:34,567 --> 00:33:36,433 MAN: Good job I'm not playing you. 475 00:33:36,567 --> 00:33:38,400 Go on, your shot. 476 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:40,933 Now... 477 00:33:41,533 --> 00:33:43,567 Have you... 478 00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:46,867 Have you heard of a man called Bruce Forsyth? 479 00:33:47,067 --> 00:33:48,600 -Yeah. -Bruce Forsyth? 480 00:33:48,733 --> 00:33:50,767 -Generation Game. -Yes. 481 00:33:53,133 --> 00:33:56,667 Have you heard of a game show called Play Your Cards Right? 482 00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:01,267 Hard luck. 483 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,433 -There you are, Gwen. -MAN: Hard luck. 484 00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:07,067 -Right, six-four! -Where did you learn this? 485 00:34:07,167 --> 00:34:10,067 -(LAUGHS) -Eh? 486 00:34:15,167 --> 00:34:17,767 I told you I can get out of it! 487 00:34:17,900 --> 00:34:20,800 HARRY: Told you I can get out of it. Two shots. 488 00:34:20,933 --> 00:34:23,900 WOMAN: How many, Danny? DANNY: Two. 489 00:34:24,067 --> 00:34:27,567 -Look for the white ball. -Yeah, it's there. 490 00:34:27,700 --> 00:34:30,500 -So, come closer. -Come closer. 491 00:34:40,933 --> 00:34:43,067 -Hiya. -Hi. 492 00:34:43,133 --> 00:34:44,833 You came back then? 493 00:34:44,967 --> 00:34:46,600 Yeah. 494 00:34:46,733 --> 00:34:48,700 So what is it then, are you a Christian? 495 00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:51,333 What? No, why? 496 00:34:51,467 --> 00:34:53,333 Well, you look too old to be a student. 497 00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:56,467 And normally we don't get blokes your age suddenly volunteering to help out 498 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,133 unless they've found God. 499 00:34:58,267 --> 00:35:00,567 No, it's nothing like that. 500 00:35:01,367 --> 00:35:03,133 What is it like then? 501 00:35:09,967 --> 00:35:11,500 Hello, how are you? 502 00:35:11,633 --> 00:35:13,467 I'm all right. Have you seen Harry? 503 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,333 I haven't. No, I haven't. 504 00:35:15,467 --> 00:35:17,067 He was in here a couple of minutes ago. 505 00:35:17,133 --> 00:35:19,100 In that room, Gwen. 506 00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:21,100 Harry, Harry, you call him? 507 00:35:21,233 --> 00:35:23,933 -That was him. -I don't know Harry, do I, Gwen? 508 00:35:24,067 --> 00:35:25,600 Yes, you do. 509 00:35:26,667 --> 00:35:28,600 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 510 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,800 -There you are, mate. No milk, is that right? -Yeah. 511 00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:38,200 -You don't like milk then? -No. 512 00:35:38,333 --> 00:35:39,867 I thought I'd lost you. 513 00:35:40,067 --> 00:35:42,133 I come back in the pool room and thought you'd done a runner. 514 00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:43,433 No. 515 00:35:44,733 --> 00:35:47,500 -I got you some biscuits. -Thank you. 516 00:35:56,267 --> 00:35:59,100 -I've got something I wanted to show you. -What? 517 00:35:59,233 --> 00:36:01,500 -That's me daughter, Marie. -Yeah. 518 00:36:01,633 --> 00:36:02,600 And that's me. 519 00:36:02,733 --> 00:36:04,467 -Do you like that? -Yeah. 520 00:36:05,567 --> 00:36:07,700 Well, that's yours then. 521 00:36:12,433 --> 00:36:13,433 What's this? 522 00:36:13,567 --> 00:36:14,967 Have a look at it. 523 00:36:27,900 --> 00:36:30,667 -You can put me next to Dale Winton, eh? -Yeah. 524 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,767 (DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 525 00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:50,100 Excuse me. 526 00:36:54,967 --> 00:36:56,400 Excuse me. 527 00:37:17,733 --> 00:37:19,333 There's a slope on this table. 528 00:37:19,467 --> 00:37:21,667 Your cue must be as bent as your knob. 529 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,433 EDDIE: I've just had a chat with that barmaid. 530 00:37:23,567 --> 00:37:28,067 She's a bit flat for my liking, but I think you're in there, Phil. 531 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,933 It took a bit of persuading but I told her you'd take her out on Friday night. 532 00:37:32,067 --> 00:37:34,900 She might be an A-cup but she's got a very full personality. 533 00:37:35,067 --> 00:37:36,133 What? 534 00:37:36,267 --> 00:37:38,433 I've set you up with Stella, Friday night. 535 00:37:38,567 --> 00:37:41,833 I'm not ready to start going out with other women. 536 00:37:41,967 --> 00:37:44,433 Philip, take it from someone who knows. 537 00:37:44,567 --> 00:37:46,400 There's nothing Captain Cock can't cure. 538 00:37:46,533 --> 00:37:48,267 Joe, will you tell him to back off? 539 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,833 I know she's no Jordan, but you've got to get back in the saddle, mate. 540 00:37:51,967 --> 00:37:54,200 You'll be turning quaint if you're not careful. 541 00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:56,067 PHIL: Joe, tell him, would ya? 542 00:37:57,567 --> 00:37:59,167 For fuck's sake, Joe. 543 00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:01,533 What's the matter with you lately? 544 00:38:01,667 --> 00:38:03,533 You never said a word all morning. 545 00:38:03,667 --> 00:38:05,400 You're doing my head in. 546 00:38:05,533 --> 00:38:07,067 It's like being married again. 547 00:38:08,167 --> 00:38:09,667 Good shot! 548 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,167 (JOE SOBBING) 549 00:38:16,367 --> 00:38:18,100 Now, Joe, come on. 550 00:38:19,067 --> 00:38:20,800 Phil, get him some bog roll. 551 00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:22,567 Joe? 552 00:38:22,700 --> 00:38:25,700 Fucking hell! Just everything's fucked. I'm sorry. 553 00:38:27,933 --> 00:38:30,767 It's all right, mate, I don't think anyone's twigged. 554 00:38:34,133 --> 00:38:36,067 What is it? What's wrong? 555 00:38:36,133 --> 00:38:38,500 Can't you see the fella doesn't want to talk about it? 556 00:38:38,633 --> 00:38:39,633 (SCOFFS) 557 00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:42,300 Come on. Get it out. 558 00:38:42,433 --> 00:38:44,467 Phil, we're not Americans, leave him alone. 559 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,733 -Do you want to talk about it? -He just needs a bit of time, all right? 560 00:38:51,867 --> 00:38:54,067 He was just like this after Barcelona. 561 00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:57,100 Fucking leave him alone! 562 00:39:05,133 --> 00:39:08,833 HEALTH VISITOR: Just enjoy it before she turns into a big, stroppy teenager. 563 00:39:08,967 --> 00:39:12,733 Anyway, just ring me if you think you need to. But like I said she's perfect. 564 00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:15,400 -All right. -Thanks a lot. Bye. 565 00:39:20,233 --> 00:39:22,500 Who was that? 566 00:39:22,633 --> 00:39:24,700 Do you remember the health visitor? 567 00:39:25,333 --> 00:39:27,100 What did she want? 568 00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:29,467 It was just a check-up. 569 00:39:31,567 --> 00:39:33,267 I thought they did them down the clinic. 570 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,067 Well, I asked her to come here. 571 00:39:35,167 --> 00:39:36,700 (MARIE COUGHS) 572 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,067 What did she mean when she said you've got nothing to worry about? 573 00:39:41,167 --> 00:39:42,467 It was just a check-up. 574 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,967 Make sure everything's normal. 575 00:39:48,767 --> 00:39:51,300 What are you up to, Cath? 576 00:39:51,433 --> 00:39:54,767 I wanted the health visitor to take a look at her after what you told me. 577 00:39:55,933 --> 00:39:57,967 About your mum and dad. 578 00:39:58,100 --> 00:39:59,500 What do you mean? 579 00:39:59,633 --> 00:40:03,033 Well, you know, check she was... 580 00:40:03,167 --> 00:40:05,467 All there and that. I just wanted to be on the safe side. 581 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,267 It can't be passed on, you know, like flu. 582 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,533 Well, I didn't know that. 583 00:40:08,667 --> 00:40:10,267 They haven't got some disease you can catch. 584 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,933 It's just an accident, the way they are, you know. Just bad luck! 585 00:40:13,067 --> 00:40:15,267 How was I to know that? I don't know anything about it. 586 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,500 You should have asked me! 587 00:40:17,633 --> 00:40:19,667 You never want to talk about it. You just shut me out. 588 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,600 Oh, so you just go and do it behind me back? 589 00:40:21,733 --> 00:40:24,233 It wasn't like that. I just thought it'd be better if I just got on with it. 590 00:40:24,367 --> 00:40:27,000 She's my fucking baby too, you know! 591 00:40:28,567 --> 00:40:30,600 -I wanna hold the baby. -Not until you calm down. 592 00:40:30,733 --> 00:40:33,133 I'm her dad, give her to me now. I just want to hold her. 593 00:40:33,267 --> 00:40:35,667 Joe, you're scaring her, stop it! 594 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,433 I'm not some fucking freak, are I! 595 00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:43,567 Cath, let me in! 596 00:40:44,033 --> 00:40:45,633 I want me baby. 597 00:40:45,767 --> 00:40:48,167 -I want to hold her! -Joe, stop it! 598 00:40:48,300 --> 00:40:52,033 Stop it. Look at you! Stop taking it out on me! 599 00:40:52,167 --> 00:40:53,933 It's not our fault. 600 00:41:00,867 --> 00:41:01,800 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 601 00:41:03,900 --> 00:41:06,500 (RINGS DOORBELL) 602 00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:14,067 You can't keep away, can you? 603 00:41:14,167 --> 00:41:18,067 -I was wondering if Harry was in? -No, he's at work. 604 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:23,067 -At work? How long has he had a job? -He's always worked. 605 00:41:24,467 --> 00:41:27,500 Harry has? Harry's got a job? 606 00:41:27,633 --> 00:41:30,200 (MACHINERY WHIRRING) 607 00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:37,067 (INAUDIBLE) 608 00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:20,067 (INAUDIBLE) 609 00:42:23,433 --> 00:42:25,767 (INAUDIBLE) 610 00:42:37,933 --> 00:42:40,467 (SIGHS) 611 00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:46,933 Oh, fuck it! 612 00:42:47,333 --> 00:42:49,067 (SIGHS) 613 00:42:54,933 --> 00:42:58,500 CATH: Joe, that Barbara woman just rang. 614 00:42:59,533 --> 00:43:01,067 She's found your mum. 615 00:43:19,467 --> 00:43:21,667 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 616 00:43:46,833 --> 00:43:50,167 Hiya. Janet, this is Joe. 617 00:43:53,367 --> 00:43:54,600 Hello, Janet. 618 00:44:05,467 --> 00:44:06,800 Are you an actor? 619 00:44:30,233 --> 00:44:31,600 (SIGHS) 620 00:44:33,667 --> 00:44:36,100 Does she make any sense when she talks, like? 621 00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:38,400 Now and then, yeah. 622 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,433 What are you thinking? 623 00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:45,900 I'm thinking how did she ever agree to sex? 624 00:44:47,833 --> 00:44:50,800 There are ways of getting the message across, you know. 625 00:44:50,933 --> 00:44:52,100 What are you saying? 626 00:44:52,233 --> 00:44:54,933 That her and Harry were once a devoted couple? 627 00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:59,467 Romeo and Juliet meets MENCAP? I don't think so. 628 00:45:00,933 --> 00:45:03,100 You wouldn't be the first person to have been conceived 629 00:45:03,233 --> 00:45:04,967 after a one-night stand, Joe. 630 00:45:05,100 --> 00:45:07,500 I don't know what I thought she'd be like, but it wasn't this. 631 00:45:09,067 --> 00:45:10,200 It wasn't Janet. 632 00:45:13,167 --> 00:45:14,567 I mean, look at her. 633 00:45:17,667 --> 00:45:19,067 She's supposed to be my mum. 634 00:45:23,233 --> 00:45:25,067 Has she any idea what this is all about? 635 00:45:26,967 --> 00:45:31,600 It's early days yet and she's been through a lot of changes in her life, 636 00:45:31,733 --> 00:45:34,467 you know. Hospitals closing, hostels... 637 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:39,400 You don't have to be nice. Let's be honest. It's worse when you try to be nice. 638 00:45:39,867 --> 00:45:41,133 MAN: Excuse me. 639 00:45:41,267 --> 00:45:43,067 -Is she with you? -Yeah, why? 640 00:45:43,133 --> 00:45:46,267 Uh, I don't mean anything by it but she's upsetting my kids. 641 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,100 -All right. Sorry. -What is it she's supposed to have done? 642 00:45:49,233 --> 00:45:50,767 It's all right, Barbara, I'll get her. 643 00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:53,733 Not all there, is she? And it's a kids' playground after all. 644 00:46:03,667 --> 00:46:05,667 Come on, Janet, now. We've got to go, love. 645 00:46:16,533 --> 00:46:18,800 Janet! What are you doing, love? 646 00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:24,167 Janet, we've got to go now. 647 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,433 Say, do you want me to get Barbara for you? 648 00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:37,833 Janet, we've got to go now, we have to go home. 649 00:46:40,667 --> 00:46:41,967 Are you all right? 650 00:46:45,367 --> 00:46:46,733 Come on, we're going this way. 651 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,400 Going this way. 652 00:46:58,867 --> 00:47:00,067 No, this way. 653 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:11,433 I walked across the park with her. 654 00:47:15,833 --> 00:47:17,133 I didn't want to touch her. 655 00:47:19,067 --> 00:47:20,567 I felt like everyone was looking at me and 656 00:47:20,700 --> 00:47:23,067 I didn't want anybody to see me touch her. 657 00:47:27,533 --> 00:47:29,567 (SOBBING) Me own mum. 658 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:35,467 What does that make me? 659 00:47:38,133 --> 00:47:39,767 How big does that make me? 660 00:47:48,967 --> 00:47:50,700 I had a picture in my head of what they were like. 661 00:47:53,233 --> 00:47:54,200 I always thought about them 662 00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:55,767 but I never wanted to find them. 663 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:01,267 Not until Marie. I've got Marie! 664 00:48:02,733 --> 00:48:05,767 I've got you. Why couldn't I just stick at that? 665 00:48:12,233 --> 00:48:15,333 Dave Pritt's dad had that stroke and he was in St Thomas' for five years. 666 00:48:15,467 --> 00:48:16,933 He never recognised Dave again. 667 00:48:17,067 --> 00:48:19,367 But at least Dave knew that inside of him there was 668 00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:22,300 some memory, some fucking bit of him! 669 00:48:22,433 --> 00:48:26,067 I look at Harry and I can't stop hanging onto, you know, somewhere... 670 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:31,700 Jesus Christ, is that too much to ask? 671 00:48:33,567 --> 00:48:36,067 I want to shake it out of him! 672 00:48:39,067 --> 00:48:40,800 (JOE SOBBING) 673 00:48:48,133 --> 00:48:49,567 (GASPS) 674 00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,200 Devils on horseback are bacon wrapped around what? 675 00:49:01,133 --> 00:49:03,067 I know that. 676 00:49:03,133 --> 00:49:07,667 QUIZMASTER: Devils on horseback are bacon wrapped around what? 677 00:49:09,067 --> 00:49:11,533 -It's prunes. Write it down. -I knew that. 678 00:49:11,667 --> 00:49:13,633 QUIZMASTER: Who had his one and only hit 679 00:49:13,767 --> 00:49:15,633 with The One And Only? 680 00:49:15,767 --> 00:49:17,733 Pop music, Joe. That's your department. 681 00:49:19,433 --> 00:49:20,533 I wasn't listening. 682 00:49:20,667 --> 00:49:21,767 Phil, go and get him a bar towel, will you, 683 00:49:21,900 --> 00:49:23,733 he's gonna start blubbing again. (CHUCKLES) 684 00:49:23,867 --> 00:49:27,200 QUIZMASTER: The One And Only was his one and only hit. 685 00:49:31,067 --> 00:49:32,533 I've got something to tell you. 686 00:49:35,067 --> 00:49:36,467 What is it? 687 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,967 QUIZMASTER: Where would you find the Stone of Scone? 688 00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:43,400 I found me mum and dad and there's something wrong with them. 689 00:49:43,533 --> 00:49:45,700 That goes without saying. 690 00:49:45,833 --> 00:49:47,300 PHIL: Well, like what? QUIZMASTER: The Stone of Scone, 691 00:49:47,433 --> 00:49:49,467 I want city and country. 692 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:50,967 (SIGHS) They were mental. 693 00:49:51,933 --> 00:49:52,933 Me mum and dad. 694 00:49:54,067 --> 00:49:56,567 They were handicapped, you know, mental. 695 00:49:56,700 --> 00:50:02,567 QUIZMASTER: Who won an Oscar for the music for Charlie Chaplin's film, Limelight? 696 00:50:02,700 --> 00:50:05,867 -I don't get it. -There's nothing to get. 697 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000 Turns out my mum and dad were mentally handicapped. 698 00:50:09,533 --> 00:50:11,200 All right. 699 00:50:11,333 --> 00:50:14,133 QUIZMASTER: What football team are nicknamed the "Jam Tarts"? 700 00:50:14,267 --> 00:50:15,333 What, like in the head? 701 00:50:15,467 --> 00:50:17,133 Yeah, in the head. 702 00:50:17,267 --> 00:50:21,033 QUIZMASTER: What football team are nicknamed the "Jam Tarts"? 703 00:50:22,500 --> 00:50:27,133 It's amazing really, 'cause I always had Phil down as the thick one. 704 00:50:27,267 --> 00:50:33,367 So what are we talking, just a bit daft or proper, fully-fledged nutters like? 705 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:38,400 -They lived most of their lives in hospitals. -So let me get this right. 706 00:50:39,133 --> 00:50:41,100 If I pull up at the lights, 707 00:50:41,233 --> 00:50:45,467 and a minibus comes alongside and some mong starts waving at me, 708 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,100 you mean that could be your daddy? 709 00:50:48,133 --> 00:50:49,433 They're not mongs. 710 00:50:53,033 --> 00:50:56,800 So now that's sorted, it'll be all right to meet them, won't you? 711 00:50:56,933 --> 00:50:59,167 -Why would I meet them? -'Cause I'm having a little family gathering 712 00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:00,667 and you two are invited. 713 00:51:01,367 --> 00:51:04,633 All right, great. Can't wait. 714 00:51:05,100 --> 00:51:06,967 Yeah. Nice one. 715 00:51:16,067 --> 00:51:18,067 -What are they? -They're party plates. 716 00:51:18,167 --> 00:51:19,333 I thought it was a party. 717 00:51:19,467 --> 00:51:21,867 -They're paper plates. -Well spotted. 718 00:51:22,067 --> 00:51:24,467 Get the normal plates out, Cath. 719 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,300 Well, I just thought if anybody dropped anything, 720 00:51:26,433 --> 00:51:28,700 -they wouldn't break. -I'm not having them eating off paper plates. 721 00:51:28,833 --> 00:51:30,667 They're not just for them. 722 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:34,900 Get the proper plates out. Why do you have to make everything so complicated? 723 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:37,667 (RINGS DOORBELL) 724 00:51:41,167 --> 00:51:42,133 -Are you ready? -Yeah. 725 00:51:42,267 --> 00:51:43,467 Come on, then. 726 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,900 -Are you all right? -Yeah. 727 00:51:50,067 --> 00:51:53,067 -What have you been up to? -Just been going to the club. 728 00:51:53,967 --> 00:51:56,133 That's about it. Thank you. 729 00:52:12,067 --> 00:52:13,733 Do you want to put your belt on, please? 730 00:52:17,633 --> 00:52:20,067 -Now, it's just a bit of tea and that. -Aye. 731 00:52:20,167 --> 00:52:22,467 -It's nothing to get worried about. -Right. 732 00:52:26,267 --> 00:52:27,600 Do you want to, uh... 733 00:52:29,467 --> 00:52:30,700 Do you want to take your cap off? 734 00:52:40,433 --> 00:52:44,567 I know the modern way is anything goes but I think a little girl loves a dress. 735 00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:47,267 You can brainwash them the other way, as well in my opinion. 736 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,533 Thanks, Mum, it's... It's lovely. 737 00:52:54,700 --> 00:52:57,133 She looks more like our Cath today, wouldn't you say? 738 00:52:58,833 --> 00:53:01,567 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -Oh, he must've forgotten his keys. 739 00:53:04,100 --> 00:53:05,800 You'll have met them before. Will you, Ethel? 740 00:53:05,933 --> 00:53:07,067 No. 741 00:53:08,233 --> 00:53:09,933 No, it's the first time for me as well. 742 00:53:12,333 --> 00:53:14,133 We had one sweeping up in the shop for a while. 743 00:53:14,267 --> 00:53:16,700 You had to keep your eye on him. Huh, he'd eat anything. 744 00:53:20,867 --> 00:53:22,900 Oh, bloody hell, who invited him? 745 00:53:24,067 --> 00:53:25,167 All right, Judith? 746 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:27,867 Phil. 747 00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:30,767 (HUFFS) 748 00:53:39,100 --> 00:53:40,267 (DOOR SHUTS) 749 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,200 (MARIE GURGLING) 750 00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:49,433 JOE: Right, um... 751 00:53:49,567 --> 00:53:50,833 This is Harry. 752 00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:52,867 Harry, this is everybody. 753 00:53:57,167 --> 00:53:58,433 (MARIE COOS) 754 00:54:00,833 --> 00:54:03,200 Hiya, I'm Cath, Joe's wife. 755 00:54:05,067 --> 00:54:06,567 This is Marie. 756 00:54:11,733 --> 00:54:13,633 -Do you want to have a seat, Harry? -No, thanks. 757 00:54:16,967 --> 00:54:19,467 Bloody hell, you've got enough key rings, aren't ya? 758 00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:20,900 What are you then, the prison warder? 759 00:54:21,067 --> 00:54:22,900 -(CHUCKLES) -Take no notice of him, Harry. 760 00:54:24,467 --> 00:54:26,067 -Do you fancy a beer, mate? -No, thanks. 761 00:54:26,167 --> 00:54:28,533 -Come on, just the one. Go on, then, just one. -(HARRY LAUGHS) 762 00:54:33,067 --> 00:54:34,967 Right, uh, who wants a drink? 763 00:54:35,567 --> 00:54:36,867 I know I do. 764 00:54:40,467 --> 00:54:42,133 -Oh, no, that one's ugly. -(LAUGHS) 765 00:54:42,267 --> 00:54:45,533 -That looks like my ex-wife. (CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) 766 00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:47,833 -She had a big fat head as well. -(CHUCKLES) 767 00:54:47,967 --> 00:54:50,433 I hear you're making a dolls' house for Marie. 768 00:54:50,567 --> 00:54:52,867 I've plenty of time on my hands at the moment, you know. 769 00:54:53,067 --> 00:54:55,333 Oh, really, haven't you got Sky? 770 00:54:55,467 --> 00:54:56,867 She took the dish when she went. 771 00:54:57,067 --> 00:54:59,067 She knew the way to a man's heart. 772 00:54:59,133 --> 00:55:01,333 Do you fancy building me a house when you've finished Marie's? 773 00:55:01,467 --> 00:55:02,767 A real life-size, like. 774 00:55:02,900 --> 00:55:05,333 Well, I'll come round and measure you up if you like. 775 00:55:05,467 --> 00:55:06,967 (CHUCKLES) So sorry, I didn't mean... 776 00:55:07,933 --> 00:55:09,500 It came out all wrong that, didn't it? 777 00:55:09,633 --> 00:55:11,333 It's all right. I'm not easily offended. 778 00:55:11,467 --> 00:55:12,567 PHIL: All right. 779 00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,500 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -That'll be Janet. 780 00:55:14,633 --> 00:55:17,800 MRS LOWTHER: It's like Piccadilly Circus in here today, isn't it, sweetheart? 781 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:23,200 -BARBARA: Yeah, not too bad. -All right, Janet? 782 00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:31,133 JOE: Right, everybody. Uh, this is Barbara 783 00:55:31,267 --> 00:55:32,900 and this is Janet. 784 00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,633 -Shall I take your coats? -Yes. 785 00:55:47,067 --> 00:55:48,333 -Can you manage? -Yeah, I've got it. 786 00:55:48,467 --> 00:55:51,133 -Oh... -(CHUCKLES) 787 00:55:51,267 --> 00:55:52,500 Take that sleeve. 788 00:55:54,567 --> 00:55:55,933 (CLEARS THROAT) 789 00:55:56,067 --> 00:55:57,467 -Thanks. -Why don't you sit down over there, 790 00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:58,900 -Barbara? -Okay. 791 00:56:07,067 --> 00:56:08,733 (MARIE GURGLING) 792 00:56:18,067 --> 00:56:19,133 Have you come far? 793 00:56:19,967 --> 00:56:21,333 Ah, Morecambe. 794 00:56:21,467 --> 00:56:23,200 (CHUCKLES) 795 00:56:23,333 --> 00:56:24,567 Not too bad, then? 796 00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:26,700 BARBARA: No. 797 00:56:26,833 --> 00:56:27,900 (MARIE GURGLES) 798 00:56:45,967 --> 00:56:49,067 -So do you live in a hospital, then or what? -No. In a house. 799 00:56:49,133 --> 00:56:50,567 -Oh, in a house? -Yes. 800 00:56:50,700 --> 00:56:52,467 -Do you get your meals done? -Yes. 801 00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:56,300 Fuck me. Sounds great. Get me down for a place. So are you allowed out much? 802 00:56:56,433 --> 00:56:58,933 -Yes, twice a week. -Of course he is allowed out! 803 00:56:59,067 --> 00:57:01,500 -He's got a job, he goes down the club, don't you, now then? -HARRY: Yeah. 804 00:57:01,633 --> 00:57:04,633 I'll tell you what he's got the beating of any of us lot on the pool table. 805 00:57:04,767 --> 00:57:06,667 -(DISHES BREAK) -JOE: Shit. 806 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:08,633 (BOTH LAUGH) 807 00:57:08,767 --> 00:57:11,833 Between you and me, I think it's Joe that's got the special needs, don't you? 808 00:57:11,967 --> 00:57:13,300 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 809 00:57:13,433 --> 00:57:16,167 Here you are, mate. One for your collection. Look. 810 00:57:16,300 --> 00:57:20,133 -Flashing nips. (LAUGHS) Aye. -JOE: I'll get the pan and brush. 811 00:57:20,267 --> 00:57:23,067 -That's yours, that. Yeah, keep it. -Is it? 812 00:57:24,267 --> 00:57:25,733 Cheers, mate. 813 00:57:30,900 --> 00:57:34,200 -I'm glad you've come. -Well, I wouldn't have missed this. 814 00:57:35,133 --> 00:57:36,333 What do you think? 815 00:57:36,467 --> 00:57:38,867 Well, they seem very happy, don't they? 816 00:57:39,067 --> 00:57:40,900 I think so, you have to get to know them. 817 00:57:42,267 --> 00:57:46,567 -You've been great about this, you know. -Well, right. 818 00:57:48,067 --> 00:57:49,767 Well, right. 819 00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:53,433 Thank you. 820 00:57:57,100 --> 00:57:58,100 EDDIE: What's that? 821 00:57:58,233 --> 00:57:59,433 Here, I've got this now. 822 00:58:00,433 --> 00:58:01,867 Joe, calm down, it's going fine. 823 00:58:02,067 --> 00:58:03,433 Good, 'cause I'm really trying here. 824 00:58:03,567 --> 00:58:06,100 Well, maybe try a bit less. 825 00:58:06,233 --> 00:58:07,800 -(KISSES) -HARRY: Coca-Cola. 826 00:58:09,567 --> 00:58:10,933 -They're nice, aren't they? -Yeah. 827 00:58:12,100 --> 00:58:14,200 -How many have you got? -Nine. 828 00:58:14,333 --> 00:58:16,467 They're wicked, them. So what's that one? 829 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:17,833 One of the Dwarfs. 830 00:58:17,967 --> 00:58:19,467 Oh, that's right. It's Dopey, isn't it? 831 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:20,867 -Yeah. -Is that your favourite, Harry? 832 00:58:21,067 --> 00:58:22,533 -Yeah. -That's great. 833 00:58:23,067 --> 00:58:24,133 What's that one? 834 00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:27,067 -Me plane. -(BOTH LAUGH) 835 00:58:27,167 --> 00:58:28,667 Joe, can you do something with your daughter? 836 00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:30,833 She's a grizzly madam today. 837 00:58:30,967 --> 00:58:33,067 I'm not surprised. All these strangers... 838 00:58:33,167 --> 00:58:36,533 -Does she want to come to Granny? -Mum, she's fine. 839 00:58:38,833 --> 00:58:42,400 -Well, perhaps Janet can hold her. -Yeah, I hold her tight, yeah. 840 00:58:42,533 --> 00:58:44,133 BARBARA: Just for a minute. Janet? 841 00:58:44,867 --> 00:58:46,200 Do you think so? 842 00:58:46,333 --> 00:58:47,700 BARBARA: Yeah, I'll keep an eye on her. 843 00:58:47,833 --> 00:58:49,533 I think she'd like it. (CHUCKLES) 844 00:58:52,133 --> 00:58:54,567 -It won't be too much for her? -JANET: No, it's all right. 845 00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:56,833 I know everybody means well... 846 00:58:56,967 --> 00:58:58,100 Great idea, Barbara. 847 00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:00,700 You'll love it, won't you, Janet? 848 00:59:00,833 --> 00:59:02,567 -Yeah. -CATH: Okay. 849 00:59:07,733 --> 00:59:09,767 BARBARA: Well, here she comes. 850 00:59:09,900 --> 00:59:14,333 CATH: There we go. There we are. 851 00:59:14,467 --> 00:59:15,933 Oh, have you got her? 852 00:59:16,667 --> 00:59:18,067 Have you got her? 853 00:59:18,167 --> 00:59:20,167 Yes. 854 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,633 Now hold her head. That's it. 855 00:59:25,133 --> 00:59:26,167 There now. 856 00:59:26,300 --> 00:59:27,867 -There. -(MARIE GURGLES) 857 00:59:35,767 --> 00:59:38,067 -That was lovely. Had I better take her now? -Mum! 858 00:59:39,367 --> 00:59:40,800 CATH: Joe, get the camera. 859 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,433 (MARIE GURGLING) 860 00:59:53,300 --> 00:59:54,667 Show them your finger. 861 00:59:56,067 --> 00:59:57,500 -Look at the nip-nips, look. -(LAUGHS) 862 00:59:57,633 --> 00:59:58,667 That's nice, that. 863 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,567 -Great, aren't they? -Oh, very unusual. 864 01:00:02,700 --> 01:00:05,333 -Hurry up with that bloody camera, Joe! -CATH: Here. 865 01:00:05,467 --> 01:00:08,067 Harry, why don't you sit down over there? 866 01:00:09,133 --> 01:00:10,200 MRS LOWTHER: It's about time. 867 01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:21,800 Come on, let's have a smile. 868 01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,533 Shall I take her now, love? 869 01:00:34,667 --> 01:00:36,167 CATH: She'll need to eat in a minute. 870 01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:38,067 Joe, will you go stick something in the microwave for her? 871 01:00:57,333 --> 01:00:58,900 Have you seen Phil? He's all over her. 872 01:00:59,033 --> 01:01:01,967 Calls himself a mate. He knew I was on for a second leg today. 873 01:01:02,100 --> 01:01:03,533 Can you open that for us? 874 01:01:04,633 --> 01:01:05,867 How many have you had? 875 01:01:11,367 --> 01:01:12,733 (MUMBLES) 876 01:01:14,900 --> 01:01:16,567 Pretty normal for a retard, isn't he? 877 01:01:16,700 --> 01:01:21,467 I mean, he's more normal than a lot of them blokes you get in the Legion. 878 01:01:23,833 --> 01:01:25,200 What are you trying to say? 879 01:01:27,167 --> 01:01:28,167 All right. 880 01:01:43,667 --> 01:01:45,967 Maybe you'd like to try feeding her later, Janet. 881 01:01:53,067 --> 01:01:56,100 -Have you seen Harry? -I thought he was with you. 882 01:01:56,233 --> 01:01:57,500 (MARIE CRYING) 883 01:01:58,933 --> 01:02:01,567 -Seen Harry? -Isn't he in there with Eddie? 884 01:02:06,267 --> 01:02:08,667 Excuse me, mate. Sorry. 885 01:02:10,367 --> 01:02:11,600 Harry? 886 01:02:13,300 --> 01:02:14,600 Harry! 887 01:02:36,967 --> 01:02:38,200 -Here for a bit of a break? -Yeah. 888 01:02:38,333 --> 01:02:39,900 Ah, I don't blame you. 889 01:02:43,400 --> 01:02:45,800 What are them, mate? 890 01:02:45,933 --> 01:02:50,433 -Tools. -Uh, I think they're mine, them, aren't they? 891 01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:52,400 -No. -I think they are, aren't they? 892 01:02:52,533 --> 01:02:53,767 They're mine. 893 01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:55,467 -No, I think they're mine, mate. -Are they? 894 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,567 -Yeah, do you want to put them back? -Yeah. 895 01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:00,733 What are you nicking them for? 896 01:03:00,867 --> 01:03:03,867 I wasn't (STAMMERS) nicking them. 897 01:03:05,867 --> 01:03:08,100 -You only have to ask me, you know? -I know. 898 01:03:08,233 --> 01:03:10,767 -You don't have to nick anything, just ask me. -Right. 899 01:03:12,433 --> 01:03:13,733 -Were you upset or something? -No. 900 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:17,500 -Was it the photo? -No. 901 01:03:23,267 --> 01:03:24,867 -Have you been drinking? -No. 902 01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:27,500 Are you ever going to say anything other than yes or no to me? 903 01:03:27,633 --> 01:03:28,700 Yeah. 904 01:03:32,067 --> 01:03:34,067 (MARIE YELLS) 905 01:03:42,067 --> 01:03:44,233 -MRS LOWTHER: Is she burnt? Can you see, Bill? -(MARIE CRYING) 906 01:03:44,367 --> 01:03:45,467 She's all right. 907 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,233 Nothing. It's just a little accident. 908 01:03:47,367 --> 01:03:48,967 MRS LOWTHER: She wouldn't scream like this if it was an accident. 909 01:03:49,100 --> 01:03:50,767 CATH: She's screaming because you're winding her up. 910 01:03:50,900 --> 01:03:53,333 -What happened? -Wishful thinking gone mad, is what I call it. 911 01:03:53,467 --> 01:03:55,333 Nobody saw what happened. Marie might have done it herself. 912 01:03:55,467 --> 01:03:58,433 Why is she looking all sheepish if she doesn't think she's done anything naughty? 913 01:03:58,567 --> 01:03:59,500 You all right, Janet? 914 01:03:59,633 --> 01:04:01,433 -Is she all right? -Yes. 915 01:04:01,567 --> 01:04:03,500 There you go, there's nothing wrong with you, is there, my lovely girl. 916 01:04:03,633 --> 01:04:07,300 Not on the outside maybe. Her little brain's probably in turmoil. 917 01:04:07,433 --> 01:04:09,400 She puts up with you. Don't she? 918 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,500 Bloody hell, it's like Manchester City's changing room at half-time! 919 01:04:19,633 --> 01:04:21,867 Hey. Did you get Harry pissed? 920 01:04:22,067 --> 01:04:24,167 What? No, he kept helping himself. 921 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:26,900 Anybody with half an ounce of common sense would have kept an eye on him. 922 01:04:27,067 --> 01:04:28,267 Have you seen the state of him? 923 01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,567 -He was enjoying himself. -Bollocks! 924 01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,167 You wanted us to pretend he were normal so I did what was normal. 925 01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:35,767 We had a few beers and we were all doing all right. 926 01:04:35,900 --> 01:04:37,933 But there's you running about, giving it, he's got a job 927 01:04:38,067 --> 01:04:40,067 and he can play bingo and all that stuff. 928 01:04:40,167 --> 01:04:42,567 It's a wonder you didn't wheel a piano in, get him to play Candle in the Wind. 929 01:04:42,700 --> 01:04:45,367 Yeah, but you give him a porn star key ring! And that's all right, is it? 930 01:04:45,500 --> 01:04:48,533 -He fuckin' loved it! It was made up. -You were taking the piss! 931 01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:49,767 That's right. That's what I do. 932 01:04:49,900 --> 01:04:51,567 Take the piss out of everybody. 933 01:04:51,700 --> 01:04:53,667 If you didn't want me to act normal, you shouldn't have asked me to come. 934 01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,633 I didn't ask anybody to act normal. 935 01:04:55,767 --> 01:04:57,933 You did. And we were all doing all right. 936 01:04:58,067 --> 01:05:00,867 It's you that's been running around all afternoon with a poker up your arse! 937 01:05:01,067 --> 01:05:02,067 You don't know him. 938 01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:03,633 Neither do you. 939 01:05:03,767 --> 01:05:05,067 I thought that was the point. 940 01:05:05,133 --> 01:05:06,667 PHIL: Eddie, just leave it. JUDITH: Yeah, shut up. 941 01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:10,067 No, I'm a fucking godparent. I've got responsibilities. 942 01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,333 I can say what I like. 943 01:05:11,467 --> 01:05:13,500 -Eddie, let's go for a pint. -Shut up! 944 01:05:13,633 --> 01:05:15,300 You don't know what you're talking about. 945 01:05:15,433 --> 01:05:17,467 I, I do, Joe. 946 01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:20,767 And I'll tell you this. Everyone in this room agrees with me. 947 01:05:30,167 --> 01:05:31,167 (DOOR SLAMS) 948 01:05:32,067 --> 01:05:33,900 (SOBBING) 949 01:05:52,700 --> 01:05:54,100 You think you should give Eddie a ring? 950 01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:56,967 I'll see him at work. 951 01:05:57,100 --> 01:05:59,400 He deserved a bollocking from you for bad-mouthing your mum and dad. 952 01:05:59,533 --> 01:06:01,067 I know, that's right. 953 01:06:02,700 --> 01:06:04,100 They're very nice, you know. 954 01:06:05,300 --> 01:06:06,767 In their own way. 955 01:06:12,567 --> 01:06:15,433 -Can I get you another drink? -No, no, uh, 956 01:06:15,567 --> 01:06:16,967 I've got to get off. 957 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,100 Yeah, me too. 958 01:06:20,967 --> 01:06:22,900 -See you later. -Right. 959 01:06:24,833 --> 01:06:26,900 -Bye, Cath. -Bye, Cath. 960 01:06:28,433 --> 01:06:29,867 I'll see you out. 961 01:08:01,633 --> 01:08:02,900 All right? 962 01:08:03,067 --> 01:08:04,133 All right. 963 01:08:06,167 --> 01:08:08,200 Sorry about yesterday. It got a bit out of hand. 964 01:08:08,333 --> 01:08:09,833 Don't go on about it. 965 01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:12,767 -Did you get a damp course? -Yeah. 966 01:08:15,733 --> 01:08:19,833 I just thought, you know, get them all under one roof, blood's thicker than water. 967 01:08:19,967 --> 01:08:21,067 All that shite. 968 01:08:22,967 --> 01:08:24,433 There must be something in that, mustn't it? 969 01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:28,600 'Cause he took a fancy to your toolbox, didn't he? 970 01:08:31,367 --> 01:08:33,200 He might just like nicking things. 971 01:08:33,333 --> 01:08:39,067 He told me he built all the units in his bedroom or something. 972 01:08:39,167 --> 01:08:44,400 Yeah, I know some crap he talks! He told me he'd been out with Lady Diana. 973 01:08:44,533 --> 01:08:46,867 Well, that's not impossible, is it? 974 01:08:47,067 --> 01:08:50,400 Well, I mean, she did have a thing for the disabled. (LAUGHING) 975 01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:58,333 I pulled that barmaid last night, that Stella. 976 01:08:58,467 --> 01:08:59,900 I thought you were lining her up for Phil. 977 01:09:00,100 --> 01:09:04,067 No, he stood her up. I could hardly knock her back as well. 978 01:09:04,133 --> 01:09:06,533 EDDIE: You know what's great about a bird on the rebound? 979 01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,400 What? 980 01:09:08,533 --> 01:09:10,133 They try that little bit harder. 981 01:09:10,267 --> 01:09:12,600 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 982 01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:30,233 Mmm. You're the noisiest undresser in Manchester. 983 01:09:30,367 --> 01:09:31,633 How do you know that? 984 01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,067 Anyway, I'm glad you're awake. 985 01:09:35,900 --> 01:09:37,067 I'm not. 986 01:09:41,133 --> 01:09:44,500 'Cause I love you. You know that, don't you? 987 01:09:45,967 --> 01:09:47,133 More than anybody. 988 01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:50,867 What's brought this on? 989 01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,700 Well, you know. 990 01:09:56,067 --> 01:09:57,267 No. 991 01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:59,067 I don't. Go on, tell me. 992 01:10:01,567 --> 01:10:03,900 Well, I've been thinking about you. 993 01:10:05,767 --> 01:10:07,400 How you've been with all this stuff. 994 01:10:08,900 --> 01:10:09,967 How good you've been. 995 01:10:12,333 --> 01:10:14,200 And you've got a raging hard on. 996 01:10:15,233 --> 01:10:16,400 Yeah. 997 01:10:16,533 --> 01:10:17,733 That too. 998 01:10:18,867 --> 01:10:19,967 (KISSING) 999 01:10:47,267 --> 01:10:49,300 Remind me to wash my nipples afterwards. 1000 01:10:49,433 --> 01:10:51,633 Oh, you're putting me off now. 1001 01:10:51,767 --> 01:10:55,067 All the blood's draining from me lob to me brain. 1002 01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:58,467 Well, they reckon the brain's the most important sexual organ. 1003 01:10:59,533 --> 01:11:02,267 Do you want a shag or a conversation? 1004 01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:04,167 I suppose both is too much to ask. 1005 01:11:05,733 --> 01:11:06,767 Hmm. 1006 01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:08,600 (KISSING) 1007 01:11:27,267 --> 01:11:29,067 -This is me hidey-hole, this. -Yeah. 1008 01:11:29,167 --> 01:11:31,167 -I come in here for a bit of peace and quiet. -Yeah. 1009 01:11:31,300 --> 01:11:32,367 Right. 1010 01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:35,567 -This... I made that. -Yeah. 1011 01:11:35,700 --> 01:11:38,067 -I'm making that for Cath's mum. -Yeah. 1012 01:11:38,167 --> 01:11:39,700 -And this. -Yeah. 1013 01:11:39,833 --> 01:11:43,200 -See if I can put a smile on her face for once. -(LAUGHS) 1014 01:11:44,267 --> 01:11:46,500 And this 1015 01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:49,367 is me collection. 1016 01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:52,900 Um... Do you know what that is? 1017 01:11:53,067 --> 01:11:54,400 A ruler. 1018 01:11:55,967 --> 01:11:58,633 -That's right. -You don't use that one, don't ya? 1019 01:11:58,767 --> 01:12:01,233 That's right. This is a three-way. 1020 01:12:01,367 --> 01:12:03,133 -It's the old-fashioned one. -Yeah. 1021 01:12:04,533 --> 01:12:06,067 I don't use this one now. 1022 01:12:06,833 --> 01:12:08,167 You use this one, don't you? 1023 01:12:08,300 --> 01:12:09,900 That's the modern one, yeah. 1024 01:12:10,067 --> 01:12:13,600 -And, do you know how to use that? -Yeah. 1025 01:12:13,733 --> 01:12:16,833 You put things in there, don't you. Drills? 1026 01:12:16,967 --> 01:12:19,400 -Drill bits? -Yeah, drill bits in there. 1027 01:12:19,533 --> 01:12:21,400 Then you do that to them all like that. 1028 01:12:22,467 --> 01:12:25,633 -Not like that, like that! -(LAUGHS) 1029 01:12:25,767 --> 01:12:27,300 Cath bought me this for me collection. 1030 01:12:27,433 --> 01:12:29,067 -Do you know what that is? -A plane. 1031 01:12:29,967 --> 01:12:32,433 For going across here. 1032 01:12:34,733 --> 01:12:36,900 That was my Christmas present last year. 1033 01:12:37,067 --> 01:12:38,600 -(LAUGHS) -From Cath. 1034 01:12:38,733 --> 01:12:40,067 Yeah. 1035 01:12:44,933 --> 01:12:46,633 -I like that one as well. -Another one. 1036 01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:54,733 Same as that, isn't it? 1037 01:12:54,867 --> 01:12:56,267 But that's a bit smaller, isn't it? 1038 01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:59,200 That's right, yeah. That's right. 1039 01:13:02,767 --> 01:13:05,433 -Sean Connery. -(DRILL WHIRRING) 1040 01:13:07,433 --> 01:13:10,133 Do you want a cake? Are you sure? 1041 01:13:10,267 --> 01:13:11,833 -Yeah, I really like them. -Good. 1042 01:13:13,633 --> 01:13:15,100 I baked all these myself. 1043 01:13:15,233 --> 01:13:16,700 Oh, he's such a liar, isn't he? 1044 01:13:16,833 --> 01:13:18,467 -HARRY: You're a liar. -I'm not lying. 1045 01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:20,067 -You are. -HARRY: You are. 1046 01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:22,567 -I baked them while you were at the disco. -You did not! 1047 01:13:22,700 --> 01:13:24,400 Look at the state of your nails. 1048 01:13:26,633 --> 01:13:28,133 -Do you bite them? -Yeah. 1049 01:13:30,733 --> 01:13:32,500 -How come? -I got 1050 01:13:34,633 --> 01:13:37,200 -bad news. -Mmm. 1051 01:13:37,333 --> 01:13:39,933 That's why I'm always biting them. 1052 01:13:43,067 --> 01:13:45,067 Your fingers are going to be bloody stumps. 1053 01:13:45,167 --> 01:13:46,500 I know they are. 1054 01:13:47,833 --> 01:13:49,600 -Do you get nervous, do you? -Yeah. 1055 01:13:50,533 --> 01:13:52,233 (SIGHS) I'll tell you what, so do I. 1056 01:13:52,367 --> 01:13:56,267 Everybody thinks I'm dead relaxed and happy all the time but I'm not. 1057 01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,367 -Inside I'm shitting myself. -(BOTH LAUGH) 1058 01:14:00,400 --> 01:14:02,700 -Keep 'em guessing. -(BOTH LAUGH) 1059 01:14:02,833 --> 01:14:04,500 (DOG BARKING) 1060 01:14:05,700 --> 01:14:07,500 -Do you feel like that, sometimes? -Yeah. 1061 01:14:13,500 --> 01:14:16,833 I think... I think I might've made you a bit nervous the other day. 1062 01:14:17,700 --> 01:14:18,833 Yeah. 1063 01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:21,633 -Did I, a little bit? -Yeah, yeah. 1064 01:14:24,933 --> 01:14:27,100 Yeah, I was a bit worked up but I'm sorry. 1065 01:14:27,233 --> 01:14:28,500 It's all right. 1066 01:14:47,667 --> 01:14:49,567 Harry? 1067 01:14:49,700 --> 01:14:52,900 -Will you just, um, stay a minute? -Yeah. 1068 01:14:55,067 --> 01:14:59,067 I've, I've got something to say to you, something important. 1069 01:15:03,700 --> 01:15:07,833 I don't know if any of this makes any sense to you. 1070 01:15:07,967 --> 01:15:12,067 I'm not sure it makes any sense to me, but... 1071 01:15:15,067 --> 01:15:18,433 When I was younger, I never really thought about you that much. 1072 01:15:20,767 --> 01:15:25,067 But lately I've been, um, I've been trying to put myself together 1073 01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:27,800 -a bit, you know, through all the bits? -Yeah. 1074 01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:32,700 And, well... 1075 01:15:35,133 --> 01:15:36,200 You're part of it. 1076 01:15:38,133 --> 01:15:39,200 Yeah. 1077 01:15:40,333 --> 01:15:41,533 Oh. 1078 01:15:42,500 --> 01:15:43,800 Do you know how I've got a little baby? 1079 01:15:43,933 --> 01:15:46,400 -Yeah. -Well, I was like that once. 1080 01:15:46,533 --> 01:15:49,800 -Yeah -And... You're, well... 1081 01:15:54,500 --> 01:15:55,867 You're my dad. 1082 01:16:01,833 --> 01:16:03,700 I just wanted to say it out loud. 1083 01:16:06,133 --> 01:16:08,667 -You didn't understand a word of that, did you? -No. 1084 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:15,733 Right. Go on, then. 1085 01:16:30,567 --> 01:16:33,833 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)